Our daughter, now 3, is perfecting that most brilliant one word question - Why?; and in getting very practiced at responding, I realise how critical this question is to all of our work at Evolve and NoMadMeetings.
I just completed the dream tender, with a full quote, and had fun doing it! Why? A rare gem. The organisation had defined the objective (Why) with a good understanding of their audience (Who) and had left the ‘How’ up to the respondent (the potential contractor). Sound simple? Yes! Like common sense? Yes! And like many things that we write about in Evolve Now, the simplest things can be the most powerful and least practiced (unless you are aged under 5 with the wisdom of asking the Why? question incessantly).
The ‘NoMad 5 Step Model for Effective at a Distance Communications’ has the Why at its heart – The reason Why you are having a meeting determines Who needs to be there which determines How you are best to plan and run it. We underpin this with powerful questions to help clients refine the Why and the Who. Many clients come to us with a ‘How‘ (for example, we want to do an online meeting using xyz as a platform). We spend deliberate and focused time stepping the client back from this, and through a series of coaching questions, help them refine the Why and the Who. Often the ’How‘ (approach) originally presented to us is changed, radically and often much simpler and less costly.
This simple Why, Who and How lends itself to many a story, quote and metaphor. And I can feel one coming on now….
During the 1990’s I toyed with the notion of being a ‘Mountaineer’. This led me to Mount Aconcagua, Argentina in 1997, a trip guided by adventurer and wild woolly mountain man, Jon Muir and the first women to scale the 7 big continental peaks, Brigit Muir. 4 weeks on the Mountain; one of those in a blizzard waiting for a window to summit, crammed into two men tents, taking shifts to hold the tents down and out, against the 100km plus winds (did I mention the minus 60 degree Celsius wind chill factor?), which threatened and ultimately did shred most tents.
“The peak of Aconcagua can be a sweet and complacent woman if the goddess of the sun (Febo) shines and the god of the wind (Eolo) sleeps, but when the furies of the gods of the wind are unleashed and the dragons of the clouds devour the sky, the peak turns into a terrifying and cold witch”. www.aconcagua.com
After day 5 of the ‘cold witch’ unleashing her fury, and five days and nights of pondering ‘Why’ I was there, I had the AHA moment. It was all about experiencing the mountain, as much a spiritual experience for me as a month in an ashram. Summiting was not only irrelevant, but felt increasingly ‘wrong’ as I contemplated local indigenous connections and perspectives of the Mountain (which were to leave her alone). I was the first in our party to head back down to base camp and with this decision I easily let go of the notion of summiting, without any conflict or disappointment. A rich and intense experience I had had (both Gods – Febo and Eolo). Through not summiting (or in conventional speak – failure) I had learnt so much. When I walked off the plane at Sydney airport, my family looked ashen and greeted me with dropped jaws – I looked “mummified”. When excitedly sharing my photos, someone honestly remarked “Wow, looks like you spent a month in a quarry with some snow”. They were all relieved that my next Mountain, was to be on the Far South Coast of NSW and was less than at the lofty height of 600m.
Now that I more clearly understand my intention (the Why), I choose different mountains and different experiences, and on many occasions, with increasing (and overdue) sensitivity to indigenous connection to Mountains, I stay away from the summit. Now with some purposeful reflection on the Why before I set off on the journey, I find that I choose a more satisfying path. As my daughter tugs at my skirt and asks “Why” for the 10th time in less than one minute, I can trust that she is on the wise path, and let the rising impatience slide.
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EVOLVE NOW BOTTOM LINE: Focused and deliberate contemplation of the ‘Why’ can be time masterfully spent, for both you and your clients, yielding the right approach (the How) and solution.If you are discussing and or have committed to an approach (How), pause, step back and check that you are clear on the Why and Who.
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